Narcissist Flying Monkeys: Signs, Roles, and Psychological Impact

In narcissistic environments, flying monkeys are frequently involved, though their role may be difficult to recognize at first.

When things are going well and the relationship appears stable, there is no need for the narcissist to build a false narrative about you. As a result, the environment tends to stay neutral. In some cases, if the narcissist has more influence, people may even respond to you positively. You might notice that others are drawn to you, that you get invited to events, or that you receive opportunities without putting in extra effort.

Nothing seems wrong. In fact, everything may feel almost too good.

This layer is hard to see from the inside.

The structure behind flying monkeys usually becomes more visible when the relationship with the narcissist begins to break down, although it can sometimes be recognized earlier with enough awareness.

This article is about how an environment can gradually shift and turn against a target.

The System and the Motive

We’ve explained the system and how this human-based leverage system works in detail here:
Flying Monkeys Explained: How Manipulators Use People to Control Their Environment

Here, we focus on the narcissist’s internal drivers, how they recruit others and turn them against a person, and how to internally handle group pressure.

Narcissists Are Not Always Systematic Manipulators

In reality, most narcissists are not sitting in the evening planning strategies like a chess game on how to influence groups of people.

In psychology, there is a concept known as the Dark Triad, which consists of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Narcissists, of the three, are more strongly linked to fragile self-esteem and emotional sensitivity, and tend to act in ways that are more self-deceptive rather than strategically calculated.

Source (related): Measures of Dark Personalities – ResearchGate / Delroy Paulhus & Daniel Nelson Jones (2015).

Narcissistic behavior is often driven by unconscious defense mechanisms. Clinical psychology, from Otto Kernberg onward, highlights two key ones:

• Splitting: Narcissists tend to see people as either “all good” or “all bad,” and may genuinely believe this shift when they turn against a target.
• Projection: At the same time, they may project their own traits onto others, accusing people of behaviors that reflect their own internal conflict rather than objective reality.

Source (related): Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism — Otto Kernberg (1975)

Their recruitment of flying monkeys may stem from survival instincts rather than deliberate planning.

At the same time, not every group that dislikes you is made up of “flying monkeys.”

Sometimes, conflicts are simply mutual misunderstandings.

Why Narcissistic Environments Often Involve Flying Monkeys

Narcissists rarely operate alone. They tend to recruit people to protect their image, influence others, and apply pressure when needed.

The more important the image is to the narcissist, the more useful it becomes to act through others.

Because of internal insecurity and a sense of emptiness (hunger) that can be hard to fill, combined with a self-assured personality that may depend on external validation, they can seek more leverage, something a group can provide.

Alone, their influence is limited. Through the environment, it scales.

Source (related): Unraveling the Paradoxes of Narcissism: A Dynamic Self-Regulatory Processing Model – Psychological Inquiry, PDF (Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001).

This creates a specific combination.

On one side, they can be vulnerable and fragile. On the other hand, their confidence and social skills allow them to maintain an image and gather people around it.

As a result, they can seek to win over the environment, which may help regulate their internal state, reinforce their self-image, and at the same time mask insecurity while gaining real influence and validation.

Source (related): A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit – Personality and Social Psychology Review / PubMed Central (Grapsas et al., 2020).

How People Are Recruited and Used in Narcissistic Environments

The Formula:

Image → Sympathy → Information control → Recruitment (flying monkeys) → Pressure on the target

• The facade creates an image and sympathy.
  See: The Narcissist Facade Explained
• Manipulative behavior introduces subtle control through selective information.
  See: The Psychology of Manipulation
• The narcissist gathers people who support them.
  See: Flying Monkeys Explained
• Pressure on the target.
  Once the narcissistic supply mechanism activates, they begin filling their internal void at the expense of one person.
  See: Narcissistic Supply

When Flying Monkeys Become Visible

When dealing with narcissistic environments, it is difficult to see all stages clearly. Most people do not notice this process while they are inside it or when first encountering narcissism from up close.

Flying monkeys become most visible when the relationship reaches the middle or late stage of devaluation, or moves into the discard phase.

This can happen when you start resisting, stop supporting the facade, or reject the narcissist’s narrative. In some cases, a person only feels the end result: the environment has already shifted, but the mechanism behind it was never visible.

In these situations, the most painful part is not the conflict itself, but the change in how people treat you afterward, and this is where flying monkeys are easiest to recognize.

Examples of Narcissistic Flying Monkeys: Dynamics and Control Through Supply Rotation

Overt (Grandiose) Narcissist — Control Through Dominance

This example shows how a lower-status narcissist operates. Even without conscious planning, he gains supply by increasing pressure on a chosen target while, at the same time, recruiting people through their behavior by focusing on a “shared vulnerable target.”

Case Study

An overt narcissist, seeking to confirm dominance in a group, selects the most vulnerable individual. This is often identified through body language, gestures, or subtle signals that reveal insecurity.

He begins to target this person, making remarks and humiliating him publicly. The environment starts to support this behavior through laughter or comments directed at the target.

At this point, several things happen at once:

• The narcissist receives validation from the group (supply).
• People are indirectly recruited, as a shared narrative begins to form (flying monkeys).
• The vulnerable person displays more signs of insecurity (more supply).
• The target becomes increasingly exposed, giving the narcissist more control, framed as “this stays between us” (leverage through exposure).

Observation from Narcissistic Environments

In this example, we can see one of the core power levers narcissists use against vulnerable people: control through the idea of “this stays between us.”

The target feels shame and insecurity. His social image is damaged, making it harder for him to defend himself.

At the same time, the narcissist reinforces control with an implicit message: You are under my control. I can discredit you again at any time. I will use your reactions and weak points against you when I need leverage.

This supports the idea that narcissists act as information collectors. Information becomes their main source of leverage and validation.

As a result, the group begins to react more negatively toward the target, as the narcissist reshapes their image through a narrative built on their own distorted perception of reality.

Covert / Vulnerable Narcissist — Control Through Emotions and Instincts

In our view, covert/vulnerable narcissists can be more dangerous than overt ones. Their behavior may be described in ways similar to stories about vampires.

Here we move into a deeper, darker level of flying monkeys control driven by emotional manipulation and a highly engaging facade that often follows this sequence:

Idealization → Attachment → Obsession → Trauma bond → Discard

In this dynamic, both the flying monkeys and the target, who may have once been part of the supporting group, can cross a line and become sources of supply.

The narcissist gradually drains the target’s emotional energy, weakening them from the inside. During a discard, it can feel as if a part of the person is torn away, something that is not easy to recover.

Case Study

A charming, attractive, and helpful woman (covert/vulnerable narcissist) begins to win over the target. He feels drawn in. Her appearance signals high social value, which increases his attraction. She treats him exceptionally well, and he starts to trust her and support her image, unconsciously becoming one of the flying monkeys.

As she gets closer over time, subtle forms of emotional control begin to appear. The target feels increasingly drained, yet at the same time becomes more attached to her behavior. Intermittent reinforcement strengthens this attachment, leading to obsession and eventually a trauma bond.

This obsessive attachment process is explained in more detail in our article:
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them: How Intermittent Reinforcement Creates Obsession

The narcissist does not operate alone. She speaks to friends, neighbors, coworkers, relatives, and shared contacts, presenting distorted or fabricated stories about the target and positioning herself as the victim (smear campaign), while at the same time shaping a false narrative about the target and recruiting others into it (flying monkeys).

Social manipulation follows. Other people are pulled in (triangulation), forming a tighter network of flying monkeys:

• Men defend her (protective instincts + attraction).
• Women support her (group alignment + moral positioning).

As the social setting takes shape, she places the already exhausted target into situations where he is forced to defend himself publicly. Because the flying monkeys are already active and reality has been reshaped in her favor, any attempt to defend himself may only reinforce the covert narcissist narrative.

In the final stage, the target is heavily discredited. This reinforces the narcissist’s image of victim, helpful, morally right, or strong, while strengthening the flying monkeys around her. At the same time, she gains significant supply from both the target’s emotional reactions and the environment’s validation.

Observation from Narcissistic Environments

This example shows how a former flying monkey, fully influenced by the narcissist’s facade and supportive of it, can become deeply attached and exposed.

As a result, he is socially destroyed in the described social cycle by other flying monkeys through a distorted narrative controlled by the covert narcissist.

After this, the target will never be accepted by that group.

The behavior resembles a vampire pattern. Except, instead of blood, the narcissist extracts the target’s emotional core.

To understand how covert narcissistic behavior appears in relationships and how control is maintained, read:
The Narcissistic Woman: Recognizing Subtle Patterns of Covert Control

Malignant Narcissist — Sadism and Total Environmental Control

This example shows direct control over the environment, built through status and full dominance. In this situation, the narcissist does not need to hide his character or sadistic traits. He occupies a position of strong authority, well established in his environment, where almost everyone functions as a flying monkey.

Case Study

A company director, highly analytical, calculating, and cold, yet extremely sensitive to criticism and deeply envious of competition.

He manages a team of around 600 people effectively. The company performs well, and over time, he becomes seen as “irreplaceable.” The work of many people becomes directly tied to him.

To reinforce his sadistic gratification, he periodically selects one person out of the 600.

In this case, the target maintained clear boundaries, did not react emotionally to the director, and was not dependent on the job. This made the target stand out, and the director did not like it.

He began using gaslighting. Over time, the target started to resist. The director then searched for weak points, provoked reactions, and once he identified vulnerability combined with attachment (the target is attached to his job), he began to exploit it.

Once the target was discredited, the director activated his entire structure: senior managers, departments, HR, and even higher-level executives. This became a corporate flying monkeys network.

They applied indirect psychological pressure: gaslighting by proxy, silent treatment, and other manipulative tactics.

As a result, the target became increasingly vulnerable, showing more emotional reactions and seeking validation from the director, feeding his sadistic gratification even further, as he watched the once strong target gradually break down psychologically.

From the outside, it all looked like ordinary workplace misunderstandings, but eventually, the target had to leave to preserve his mental stability.

The cycle then continued with another employee.

Observation from Narcissistic Environments

The key element is that most of these actions operate as indirect coercion and psychological manipulation, which are difficult to prove.

Before implementing this system, the malignant narcissist ensured that the target was not a real threat. He spent a long time observing and weakening the target until he was sure.

Even with authority and control, without support from flying monkeys, he would remain just an individual with psychopathic traits.

Based on this and other real-world cases involving narcissistic behavior, we developed a recognition and self-defense guide for workplace situations:
How to Work With a Narcissist During the Devaluation Phase

Recurring Observed Pattern in Narcissistic Environments

Often, when a relationship with a narcissist enters the devaluation phase, they begin to pull in the surrounding environment, recruiting flying monkeys.

The Hidden Layer: The Narcissist Is Not as Bold as They Appear

In many cases, the narcissist is:

• Cautious — before escalation, they carefully select targets, observe the environment, monitor reactions, and assess risk.
• Calculating — if they sense a threat, they do not engage directly. They remain in orbit and maintain their position within the environment, or withdraw if the target becomes too dangerous.

They rarely go after people who can defend themselves.

In more complex situations, for example, when they aim to discredit a rival, the narcissist first works to weaken the target and extract vulnerabilities. Only then do they, together with the group they influence, move in more directly.

As harsh as it may sound, this is why long-time acquaintances become easier targets for them.

Source (related): The Link Between Narcissism and Aggression: A Meta-Analytic Review — Psychological Bulletin (Kjærvik & Bushman, 2021)

Flying Monkeys as a Safety Barrier

Flying monkeys can be not only tools of social influence but also a protective system.

They allow the narcissist to:

• Avoid responsibility — blame is spread across the group or shifted onto the least valuable person.
• Test boundaries — information moves through the flying monkeys network, allowing pressure without direct contact and providing feedback about the target.
• Maintain a clean image — a more strategic narcissist keeps enough distance to step back when needed, or stays within an environment that already accepts them.

In practice, these indirect attacks can appear as:

• Multiple opinions — “he said,” “she said,” “everyone knows.”
• “Feedback” — which tends to contradict clear logic.
• Social pressure — “you should act differently,” “you don’t fit into the group.”

The Narcissist’s Final Defense Layer: Emotional Outburst

Once the narcissist realizes that their flying monkeys network is no longer working, they may shift into direct aggression or narcissistic rage. In extreme situations, they may attempt to regain control by any means necessary, pushing the discrediting process to the point where the group completely rejects the target.

This is where their different side becomes visible: unstable, aggressive, and, at the same time, vulnerable.

Source (related): Narcissistic rage — Hyphantis et al. (2009)

Signs This Is Narcissistic Influence, Not Coincidence

• People begin to mirror the narcissist’s behavior, repeating similar tones, reactions, or attitudes toward you.
• People who were not previously involved begin using the same manipulative behaviors against you as the narcissist.
• People connected to the narcissist start targeting you, criticizing, questioning, or pressuring you without a clear reason.
• Several people begin expressing similar tones or ideas.
• Information about you starts circulating that others should not have access to.
• Your version is ignored, while the narcissist’s version is treated as the default.
• Unexpected “peacemakers” appear, but in practice, push you back into the narcissist’s system.
• Neutral people suddenly become cold or tense.

How to Defend Against Flying Monkeys

The best defense against flying monkeys is to understand the mechanism. This article is meant for that.

Start by recognizing their types.

• Neutral (low awareness) – they can be influenced by the narrative.
  Strategy: a short, clear statement and then step back.
• Active (loyal to the narcissist) – they act as a pressure tool.
  Strategy: complete emotional shutdown (gray rock).
• Passive-aggressive – they slander, gossip, and engage in indirect isolation.
  Strategy: short boundary setting and ignoring.

In many cases, they are not the main aggressor. If you remove the narcissist’s influence, they would most likely step back as well. The relationship may never be the same again, but inner peace and safety are more important.

The goal is to remove their impact on you. In some cases, this may mean changing your environment or leaving a group of old friends.

Psychological Impact of Flying Monkeys and How to Manage It (DPL)

Flying monkeys are a group. For this reason, depending on their type and whether the narcissist has managed to turn the environment against you, the psychological impact can be much stronger than dealing with a single toxic person.

We explained how group pressure affects the nervous system in this article:
The Psychology of Group Pressure Escalation

Once you become a target of flying monkeys’ pressure, it can significantly lower your self-esteem while increasing anxiety. As a result, you may start making more mistakes, over-explaining yourself, and trying to fix the situation with the same people who are putting you down.

For this reason, one of the best ways to deal with this is radical acceptance. It means fully accepting yourself as you are, fully acknowledging your own vulnerability.

Source: The benefits of radical acceptance of reality as a standalone strategy for emotion regulation — Current Psychology (Segal, Bronshtein, & Weinbach, 2025)

Narcissists tend to use your vulnerable spots, moments when you were too open, or times when you reacted negatively. Acceptance reduces internal pressure and lowers emotional reactivity when they try to provoke you.

As you integrate rejected parts, unresolved vulnerabilities, past wounds, or reactive patterns, there are fewer internal hooks. This makes it much harder for the narcissist to apply pressure or discredit you publicly.

The fact that a person with a narcissistic personality pattern driven by insecurity may attempt to regulate internal discomfort through others does not mean they control your internal reality.

This shifts the control point from the outside environment back to you.

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Final Thoughts

Flying monkeys are not a random layer in narcissistic environments. The more a narcissist depends on a facade such as power, image, and external validation, the more they rely on people around them.

This is why encounters with a narcissist are often more painful than they seem at first. The impact does not come only from the conflict itself. It intensifies when the environment shifts, when people around you become part of the pressure, and when your image is reshaped by the group narrative.

The earlier you recognize this, the better your chances of protecting yourself from more serious damage.

Group Pressure System (DPL Framework)

This article is part of a broader group-pressure analysis at the Dark Psychology Lab.
Understanding this mechanism helps reduce damage and regain control.

The same pattern appears across different contexts, but the way it is applied changes.

Explore the same mechanism in different environments:

Manipulation: How manipulators recruit and use groups of people against a single target through influence and narrative control.
Flying Monkeys Explained: How Manipulators Use People to Control Their Environment

Narcissism: How personality traits are used to recruit others, defend, attack, and maintain an external image.
Narcissist Flying Monkeys: Signs, Roles, and Psychological Impact

Toxic Workplace: The psychological impact of social exclusion and how group pressure is used in modern environments to isolate and push individuals out.
The Psychology of Group Pressure Escalation in Workplace Mobbing

Disclaimer

This article is based on behavioral patterns and observed mechanisms in manipulative environments.

It is not a clinical diagnosis and should not be used to label or diagnose any individual. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional.

We do not assign labels, blame, or make definitive judgments about people.

The goal of this material is to provide clarity and support self-education, so readers can better understand what they may be experiencing and make more informed decisions.

If you feel at risk, unsafe, or overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a qualified professional for support.

For more details, see our full Disclaimer page.

Dark Psychology Lab
Original content based on lived experience and independent psychological analysis.

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