Flying Monkeys Explained: How Manipulators Use People to Control Their Environment

One of the most powerful tools in a manipulator’s arsenal is their influence over the social environment, often referred to as flying monkeys. Without them, the manipulator is just one person. With them, they gain real social leverage.

People who have never encountered this human-based leverage system may start asking questions like: what? how? why?

This article will answer those questions.

What Are Flying Monkeys

This is a social structure through which a manipulator executes indirect control. They build a network of “agents” around the target, people who directly or indirectly support them.

“Flying monkeys” are most often associated with narcissists. Part of the reason is that a narcissist, using their facade and personality traits, can more easily influence and gather people around them. For this reason, narcissistic dynamics almost always involve flying monkeys. However, this pressure system, which operates through people, is also used by other types of manipulators.

Source (related): Flying Monkeys in a Corporate Environment: A Qualitative Analysis – International Journal of Indian Psychology (2021).

The term comes from The Wizard of Oz, but in reality, it describes a very specific function:

• Forming a group around the manipulator, whose role is to support and protect them.
• Creating an image through social proof, where people evaluate the situation based on group reactions shaped by the manipulator.
• They exert influence through the environment, as group support significantly increases their power.
• It helps isolate unwanted individuals first, making it easier to remove them from the environment if needed.

Flying monkeys often become targets of manipulation themselves, as techniques such as triangulation, love bombing, intermittent reinforcement, authority pressure, smear campaigns, and narrative control through selective restriction of information are used on them, subtly transferring control to the manipulator.

In many cases, they are convinced by the manipulator’s false version of events and may genuinely believe they are helping to “solve the situation” or “save” a relationship.

This dynamic can resemble a “gray mass,” a group moving in the same direction, reinforcing the manipulator’s image.

The Flying Monkeys Mechanism Explained

Short formula:

Image (social proof) → Recruitment of people → Information control → Collective pressure → Target destabilization

Rather than confronting directly, the manipulator acts through others, maintaining distance and protecting their image.

Explanation:

• The narcissist or other manipulator creates an attractive image (charisma, confidence, status).
• The environment accepts that image as reality.
• A circle of people forms and begins to support them.
• Any contradiction is dismissed.
• Pressure comes from multiple people, not just one.

Social Proof

Social proof is a phenomenon in which people evaluate a situation based on others’ reactions rather than on facts (Lexicon of Psychology — Social Proof, 2024).

The manipulator creates an illusion of a majority. Several people repeat the same version, creating the impression that everyone is on their side.

This produces an effect: if everyone thinks this way, it may be true.

As these signals from multiple sources repeat, the target begins to doubt their own perception and reality.

Recruitment of People

Once a social image (social proof) is established, people naturally begin to move toward the manipulator’s side. This is not random. People are social and tend to orient themselves toward the group (Asch, 1951).

At this stage, the manipulator gains the opportunity to involve others in the process and turn them into part of the system.

Most commonly used techniques

• Triangulation – other people are drawn in through artificially created situations, forming conflict and routing information through third parties.
• Smear campaign – selective or distorted information is spread to weaken the target’s reputation
• Authority leverage – status or authority is used so that others automatically support the manipulator.
• Social pressure (conformity) – people adjust to the group’s opinion, even when they internally doubt it.

Through these group mechanisms, the manipulator strengthens their position while subtly weakening the target.

Information Control

Once people are involved, the manipulator takes control of the flow of information: what is said, to whom, and how it is interpreted.

This allows them to shape a social narrative useful to the controlling party.

Most commonly used manipulation techniques:

• Gaslighting – distortion or omission of information that causes the target to doubt their own perception.
• DARVO – shifting responsibility (deny → attack → reverse victim and offender), where the manipulator positions themselves as the “victim.”
• Silent treatment – selective isolation, ignoring, and social exclusion.

If you are not sure what manipulation is, we provide a detailed breakdown of it in our article:
The Psychology of Manipulation: Mechanisms, Tactics, and Defense

Information becomes filtered: one version is presented to the group, another to the target.

In this way, the manipulator systematically isolates the target, separating them from the group, increasing anxiety, while strengthening their own position among supporters.

At this stage, a quiet discrediting of the target often takes place. The target begins to react to a distorted reality, further reinforcing the manipulator’s narrative.

Collective Pressure

Technically, this is the core of flying monkeys.

After weakening the target’s position, destabilizing them, and isolating them through earlier techniques, the manipulator begins actively involving others.

This can include family, friends, colleagues, or the entire social environment.

The target may start to feel as if everyone is against them. If the manipulator has done a good job building their version of reality, the target’s reputation is already damaged at this stage.

Most of the process happens out of sight. A silent coalition is formed.

Within this system, several roles usually appear among flying monkeys:

• Neutral actors – collect and pass information, repeat the manipulator’s narrative. They often believe they are acting “correctly,” and are the easiest to influence. They should not be blamed.
• Active actors – directly support the manipulator, apply pressure, or attack the target. Often, more aggressive and conflict-oriented individuals.
• Passive-aggressive actors – avoid direct contact, subtly exclude the target from social space, and operate through gossip and reinforcement of group opinion. This is a more covert level.

This creates a social system that applies constant pressure on the target and isolates them within the group. This is what defines the flying monkeys’ dynamic.

The more people are involved, the stronger the pressure becomes, and the harder it is for the target to rely on their own sense of reality (Allen & Wilder, May 1977).

Target Destabilization

At this stage, the power imbalance is clearly on the manipulator’s side.

If the target becomes harder to control, does not support the narrative, or simply no longer fits the manipulator, pressure can increase rapidly.

The manipulator uses flying monkeys as leverage and escalates the impact through indirect techniques:

• Proxy manipulation – influence is applied through other people, avoiding direct conflict.
• Gaslighting by proxy – reality is distorted through information delivered by third parties.
• Collective shaming – group-based shaming or damage to reputation.
• Ostracism (social exclusion) – systematic removal from the group.
• Reputation erosion – gradual weakening of the target’s image through repeated “small” character attacks.

As this pressure accumulates, it reaches a peak, resulting in a social “write-off.”

This often happens through a technique of many small manipulative actions, known as “death by a thousand cuts” (DBTC). We explain how this technique works in our article, supported by case studies:
Coercive Control at Work and in Relationships: “Death by a Thousand Cuts” Explained

At this stage, the target often finds themselves in a situation with very few real options: leave the environment or continue enduring systemic pressure.

Over time, this can have serious consequences for the nervous system, including conditions such as PTSD or CPTSD (Guzman Torres et al., 2023).

How the Flying Monkeys Mechanism Affects the Target

In general, flying monkeys function as a force multiplier for the manipulator’s influence. When a group turns against a single person, the psychological pressure on the nervous system increases sharply.

If that group includes people you once trusted, the impact becomes more severe. Familiar faces in a hostile role can be more destabilizing than strangers.

This creates a sense of being in enemy territory. The brain does not need the threat to be objectively real. It is wired to protect you.

The core damage comes from isolation. It does not need to be absolute or even fully real. An environment that turns against you, or simply begins to mirror the manipulator’s behavior, is often enough to trigger real psychological, social, and physical consequences (J. Kellerman, D. Rigler, S. E. Siegel, May 1977).

Symptoms may include:

• Increased anxiety levels – persistent tension, hypervigilance, and a constant sense that something is off.
• Loss of self-confidence – self-esteem erodes, and even simple decisions become harder.
• Increased susceptibility to manipulation – without external support, it becomes easier for others to shape your perception.
• Heightened sense of threat – even neutral situations begin to feel unsafe.

Over time, this can create a feedback loop in which isolation increases vulnerability, and vulnerability in turn increases further isolation.

How Do People Become Flying Monkeys

Most people do not become flying monkeys consciously. They respond to a situation that feels safer or more acceptable to them.

There is an old saying: “A fish looks for deeper water, and a person looks for what is better.”

Through image and social support, the manipulator elevates themselves in the social hierarchy. Older biological mechanisms are still active in human behavior, which could be called “old brain” responses (Eisenberger et al., 2015).

People respond to this less through logic and more through instinct. This is survival logic, not a moral decision.

Awareness and morality often come later, as explanations for decisions that were made instinctively (Jonathan Haidt — The Righteous Mind, 2012).

Most common reasons that pull people to the manipulator’s side:

• Illusion of safety – the manipulator appears confident and in control.
• Authority influence – status reduces critical evaluation.
• Lack of information – only part of reality is visible.
• Fear of social exclusion – it is easier to adapt than to risk being rejected.

For this reason, most people get involved, and newcomers simply join the group.

It may feel harsh, but flying monkeys can resemble a kind of social herd. Instinct chooses a side faster than reason can evaluate it.

How to Recognize Flying Monkeys

Because flying monkeys appear in almost all situations involving toxic environments or narcissism, there are many possible examples. Here, we will use real-life case studies to better understand how flying monkeys are recruited and operate, both consciously and unconsciously, to facilitate recognition.

Friend – Neutral Flying Monkey

After a grandiose (overt) narcissist discards a person and, with group support, isolates them along with strong discrediting, there are often still mutual acquaintances in that person’s environment.

For example, a friend you have known for about 20 years, since school. Sometimes they visit you, sometimes you visit them. You share your goals, achievements, and simply communicate in a relaxed way.

Why is this person a flying monkey?

• Unconscious attempt to pull you back into the narcissist’s environment: They occasionally suggest that you should “meet up” with everyone again and encourage reconciliation with the narcissist.
• Information sharing and supporting the narcissist: While communicating with the narcissist, they pass along information about you. They simply enjoy talking. In their mind, the narcissist is one of their closest acquaintances.

Over time, you may start hearing your own personal information from other people. They learned it from the narcissist, and the only person who originally knew it was your childhood friend.

This is an example of a flying monkey who does not even realize it.

Workplace Group Pressure – Active Flying Monkey

The manipulator (covert/vulnerable narcissist), a manager in the workplace, begins to subtly pressure a person using covert techniques such as gaslighting, silent treatment, and triangulation. She brings the environment into the process and starts actively using manipulation through other people (by proxy), for example:

Work incident

After a workplace incident, a woman from the insurance department calls and claims that the person marked the incident as the client’s fault, even though he clearly provided written confirmation that the mistake happened due to his own oversight.

Manipulation used: gaslighting by proxy.

Attacks on personality

The person once made a joke in a certain way. Later, an unrelated colleague from another department begins repeating the same behavior. When asked about it, he gives a random reason, maintaining plausible deniability.

Manipulations used: plausible deniability and indirect group pressure.

Triangulation involving a higher authority

After clearly setting the person up to avoid responsibility, the manipulator escalates the situation to a higher level of hierarchy, in this case, the director, who is a malignant narcissist.

The director also withholds information and supports the manager’s version of reality, even though the situation clearly violates the person’s rights. When a person defends themselves, they automatically enter into conflict with higher, more toxic layers of the organization.

Considering the sensitivity of a malignant narcissist to social image and the need to maintain the reputation of a powerful leader, the pressure increases further.

Manipulations used: Triangulation, authority leverage, information control, responsibility shifting (DARVO), collective pressure, authority-induced FOG.

Observation

In this example, flying monkeys actively operate under the manipulator’s direction.

The director, in this context, is also a manipulator and uses the covert narcissist manager as a flying monkey, while at the same time, becoming involved in her psychological games and being used as a flying monkey.

This is a strong real-life example of how two or more manipulators can use each other as agents.

Based on this real-life case, we created a Recognition and Self-Defense Guide:
How to Work With a Narcissist During the Devaluation Phase

Deteriorating Environment Behavior – Passive-Aggressive Flying Monkeys

This can involve a single person or a group, depending on how much the manipulator has influenced the environment against the target.

In this example, the manipulator is a grandiose narcissist. After 10 years of living together with a partner, whom she removed from her environment during the discard phase, she begins to actively “hover” over him through others and reshape how people see him.

For example:

• She calls the ex-partner’s former spouse, asking questions about him, gathering information while at the same time presenting her own distorted version of reality.
• Mutual acquaintances, neighbors, and the surrounding environment are involved. She tells them how he “affected” her, imposing her narrative onto them.

As a result, group opinion is formed through the narcissist’s distorted storytelling within the environment connected to the target.

It depends heavily on the people and the history, but if she manages to convince them of her version of reality, they become passive or passive-aggressive flying monkeys, further isolating the target.

Common Signs of Flying Monkeys

• Repeated similar phrases or stories about you, often without direct evidence.
• Information about you spreads indirectly: “someone said…”, “I heard that…”
• Conversations become one-sided: your version is ignored or minimized.
• Sudden behavior changes: neutral people become cold or distant.
• Indirect pressure: advice, criticism, or “concern” that aligns with the manipulator’s narrative.
• A growing sense of being watched or discussed, even without clear proof.

How to Protect Yourself

The presence of flying monkeys is a clear indicator of the manipulator’s intent. These are information gatherers or passive observers who look for your weak points or new details that can be used against you, and they actively share that information.

Depending on the environment, once flying monkeys are involved, their influence often becomes difficult to avoid. In such cases, the most effective means of self-protection is maintaining a clean image and independence.

As a key to defending against them, as with all manipulations, is emotional neutrality.

• Stop explaining yourself to everyone. Any information can and will be used against you.
• Observe who is actually initiating the pressure. If it is not clear at first, take time to identify the source and limit contact with that person.
• Reduce exposure. Evaluate people more carefully, consider their connection to the manipulator, and think through the consequences of interaction or mediation.

Internal Shift (DPL)

During prolonged manipulation, an internal split can occur. One part of the mind is affected, confused, drained, and pulled into constant pressure. At the same time, another part may begin to disengage and stop accepting the manipulator’s narrative.

In this way, reactivity drops, emotional engagement weakens, and a sense of internal distance appears. In some cases, this even creates a temporary mood boost.

This leads to a key idea: do not collapse internally. External control does not equal internal defeat. A core part remains untouched. This is where dignity is preserved.

Over time, this process can reshape a person. Exposure to manipulation may increase awareness, sharpen perception, and reduce tolerance for distortion. What was once destabilizing can become a source of strength or a useful internal change.

At first, these mechanisms are difficult to grasp. Indirect psychological pressure can feel intangible. The effects are real, but the structure is hard to see, almost like psychological “ghost hunting.”

With time, patterns become visible. And once they are recognized, the same system no longer operates in the same way, but the full psychological impact may not appear immediately and can surface later, once the environment is left and the nervous system finally has space to process accumulated stress.

Final Thoughts

Flying monkeys act as an amplifier and are one of the most destructive and dangerous tools in a manipulator’s arsenal.

In most cases, it is not that everyone independently arrived at the same conclusion. What happens is that the same narrative, shaped by the manipulator, reached them first.

Understanding this can restore orientation.

And when orientation returns, you are no longer fully inside the system. You become an observer, and that is no longer the position of a victim.

Disclaimer

This article describes a real psychological mechanism that can be highly impactful when it appears in social environments. However, understanding it requires balance.

Not every disagreement, conflict, or group behavior is manipulation. Not every person who disagrees with you is a “flying monkey.” Over‑applying this lens can lead to unnecessary suspicion, isolation, and misinterpretation of normal social dynamics.

The purpose of this article is recognition and clarity.

Use this knowledge as a tool for awareness and self-protection, not as a label to apply to everyone around you.

If you notice patterns described here in your own environment, take time to observe before drawing conclusions. Focus on consistent behavior over time, not isolated events.

If you are experiencing strong psychological pressure, confusion, anxiety, or social isolation, consider speaking with a qualified mental health professional. An external perspective can help you assess the situation more accurately and safely.

It is also important to understand that terms like narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) have a specific clinical meaning. A diagnosis can only be made by a licensed professional. This article does not replace professional evaluation.

More about it in our Disclaimer Page.

Dark Psychology Lab
Original content based on lived experience and independent psychological analysis.

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